Second piece of coursework - create a text of an entertaining nature.
A dream assignment
Just before Christmas I was given what could be seen as the dream assignment for a self confessed wine-aholic such as myself, to attend the Oddbins Nottingham Christmas Wine Tasting event, sample some of the upwards of 50 wines on offer and produce a review of the best ones. Unfortunately I did not just taste the wines; I drank them, all. In shockingly large quantities. Therefore, this has become more of a how not to taste wine manual.
I should add that this is not my first foray into wine tasting. Through a previous job as a waitress/bartender at a local Gastro Pub, which boasts an excellent wine list, I have attended several 'wine training' evenings. The focus of these events has been on the staff being more knowledgeable about the variety of wines served and able to steer customers away from ordering endless bottles of house wine in favour of a more expensive option.
As getting hideously drunk on work time is frowned upon I have always tried to exercise restraint on these occasions, taking sensible notes and attempting to remember the difference between a Grachetto and Pinot blend and the more expensive Chardonnay. However it has been known after the sensible training is over for the left over wine to be consumed and then general chaos to ensue. One particularly memorable event was a now ex-colleague attempting to prove his sobriety by performing a cartwheel; he somehow landed it then staggered into the road, narrowly missing being hit by a bus!
The tickets for the event arrived, I arranged to take some mates along to help with the reviewing and the general plan was for a sophisticated evening: put on a dress and heels taste the best and recommended wines, be home in bed by midnight. Not a chance.
I feel the downfall of the evening was my first pint of cider being at approximately 3.10pm. This I blame entirely on popping in on a friend to check what she was wearing that evening, it became a trip to the pub and a pint. We did take the sensible option after this and returned home to glamorise ready for the night ahead. Before returning to the pub about six to meet with the assorted gaggle of friends who were coming along too. Naturally another pint was needed.
Bring on the wine
We arrived at the tasting around 7.15pm, slightly later than the others, and quickly attacked the cheese table before grabbing a tasting guide and making a start on the white wines.
From my notes, which both helped fill in the gaps of the night and served as an amusing note to pass round the office, the first few white wines were nothing special. Lemon notes were found in the 2009 Chablis Drouhin-Vaudon, the Di Majo Organic Falanghina again, from 2009, had ‘no length and didn’t follow through’.
The real mayhem began when my party moved on to the table being looked after by a good friend, sensible sipping measures went out the window to be replaced by generous half glasses. At this point the notes became more ‘descriptive’ but did not really describe the wine, tastes or even make sense. There was the chance to taste the difference between Organic and non-Organic wines by the same producer, the opinions on these were mixed.
As we reached the Sauvignon section a ‘new favourite’ emerged with each wine sampled, amazing citrus flavours of grapefruit could be tasted, leading to conversations about having wine for breakfast. This was particularly evident in the 2009 Matahwahi Sauvignon Blanc, priced at £10.99 had exceptional taste, body and scent for a very reasonable price. The final white tasted was my favourite of the night, 2007 Three Amigos White, from the Margaret River region of Australia. It strangely smelt like a red wine, but in fact was an amazing smooth and creamy white. At £12.99 for a blended wine it is pricey but the flavours more than make up for the price tag.
After finishing the white wine tables our group moved on for a cigarette and toilet break. The nicotine probably dulled the taste buds, but the amount of wine already consumed probably wasn’t helping much either.
Following the break we moved on to the red wine, but due to the amount of time taken on the white wines and fag breaks sadly many of the more pricey bottles had run out.
For the lady in Red
The seven red wines we were able to taste were all apparently excellent, well according to my notes which appeared to have been scrawled by a five year old that had not yet grasped pen man ship. It took about an hour and various opinions to work out what ‘fruity with blackcurrant and liquorice tones’ related to.
The favourite red wine appeared to be rated on how attractive the person pouring it was, the winner was named as the 2008 Argentinean Dona Paula Malbec, which came on the recommendation of a good friend, Tom. Sadly the wine was far better than his looks. It had intense spicy flavours, a sure dinner party hit which would be excellent with lamb dishes.
The pricier 2008 Gemtree Bloodstone Shiraz wasn’t deemed worth the £14.99 price due to it being a little obvious and forward in taste. That was all the comment on the red wines which could be deciphered.
Finally we hit the champagne, dessert wines and brandy: the expensive taste hit. The lowest priced champagne wasn’t even sipped; the first champagne of note was Pol Roger NV, amazingly flavoursome yet with a soft palette. Yeast and citrus notes led it to be compared to a lemon cheesecake. The firm favourite was the 2000 vintage Pol Roger which at £57.99 should taste good, the NV Pol Roger was not obviously lacking in any area, yet the 2000 simply filled invisible gaps in the drink making it exceptionally palatable.
The final offerings were the 2006/7 Concha y Toro Late Harvest Sauvignon, our wine guide told us that it is not an ice wine; the grapes are picked pre noble rot. I don’t know what the means but it seems important. Scent of papaya and dried fruits were followed by a aroma of honey. The definite find of the night was the 2007 Alvear PX Solera, an intense naturally sweet dark mahogany coloured wine, it smelt exactly like Christmas pudding and tasted of Fig Rolls. Nearly my entire group ordered a bottle or two as a Christmas gift; at £12.99 it’s defiantly affordable.
Step away from the alcohol
Once we had thoroughly exhausted all the wines on offer, begged for more and shamelessly flirted with the staff for ages we were asked to leave.
So a little more than slightly intoxicated and clutching our tasting notes we went off in search of somewhere to continue drinking.
My wonderful idea was to go to one of the dingiest student bars in town, which on a Thursday night offers pints for just £1, mainly as I knew my ex boyfriend would be in there. Oh dear, oh dear....
The pub was even more vile than I remembered and compared to the four star hotel the tasting had been held at it was a definite step down. Representatives from the student union were handing out Chlamydia testing kits at the door and encouraging people to take the test there and then. The ex was located and, as predicted in my state I embarrassed myself. Also going back to pints of cider after a lot of wine meant that I quickly ended up on the floor with my best friend in tow, at this point we sensibly poured ourselves into a taxi and headed home.
The morning after the night before
The next day I woke up, in the dress I had worn the night before, with a pounding head. After a pot of tea I felt ready to face the seven text messages flashing on my phone. One from a friend telling me I was late for work, one from the ex saying I was hammered, three from a mate who we lost in the course of the evening saying she was at Rock City and one from the friend who kindly delivered me home saying I owed her big time.
So after much deciphering of illegible wine tasting notes and a little help from my friend filling in gaps I was able to order a very good mixed case of wine for Christmas and also have been able to turn something in to my editor.
My tips for How Not To Taste Wine
1.Don’t have your first pint mid afternoon; in fact don’t drink before starting the tasting.
2.Don’t set yourself a challenge to try all 40 wines; they will taste the same in the end.
3.Don’t decide to go to the pub after a wine tasting: go home, drink tea and get to bed.
4.NEVER take a bunch of wine-aholic mates along on a work assignment, it will end badly.
Next time, How Not To attend a Christening.
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